Cut yourself some slack

Hands up who is ready for lockdown 3:0 to be over? And hands up who has emotionally and physically hit a wall with home-schooling / working / juggling house / animal care and all things between?

No! Just me? Whatever we are juggling often being all things to all people makes us feel like a complete failure at everything we are doing.

I am drained of late. My inner critic is telling me that I am not doing enough, or not getting things right, or that I should have everything together, I should be better. With nutritious home cooked meals ready and all the home school ‘to do’ lists lovingly curated and honed to a++ standard for each child. A well exercised pet, happy clients and a show-home ready for (absolutely NO!) visitors.

If you are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now I wanted to share some sound advice from two fabulous professionals I know that help make sense of the craziness in our heads, who share some positive psychology tips that simply need a little of your attention (rather than four page project presentation or 3D space model created!).

Hello frazzled parent/homeworker — let me introduce you to Ben Morton and his latest podcast featuring Dr Paul Brewerton. This really is a great 45 minutes of advice on how to silence your inner critic, and to — quite frankly — just cut yourself some much needed slack!

Ben Morton comments; “Uncertain times can make us feel out of kilter” which is exactly what many people I chat to feel like. Nothing specific, just out of whack. But whatever it is, being able to feel more positive about what you ARE contributing to in a business/family/relationship/home context will certainly help reframe some of the negative talk.

In the podcast Dr Brewerton offers some amazing advice and tools to help us silence our inner critic voice which I have cribbed below. If you can find the time I strongly recommend you listen to him explain these points much more eloquently than me …

· Use your name when you experience your inner negative talk

Putting your own name to what you are saying negatively frames the inner ramblings differently and I would suggest would help quieten it down.

· Talk to yourself as a compassionate friend

What would a friend say to yourself they heard you beating yourself up emotionally? Find their words to help take the sting out your feelings.

· Don’t trust every thought you have

Consider if this thought is helpful to me? If you are fixating on things? What is contrary to the thought I am having? Such as what have others been saying on this point and was it positive perhaps and I am fixating on one minor thing?

Feel grateful

Finally, Paul mentions in the podcast a gratitude habit both he and Ben have. This really is a tip for all occasions. Simply find three things you are grateful for each and every day. Whether it’s part of your morning routine or at the close of the day as your head hits the pillow. Just five minutes to acknowledge them is immensely powerful.

I’ll give you one to get yourselves started …

Today pat yourself on the back and say well done for getting through another day, for putting one foot in front of another again during lockdown. Because some days that’s simply enough :) 

Lots of love x